


Between Friends

by snowstormdaydreams



Category: The OC (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, Character Death, Denial, Dialogue Heavy, Friendship, Grieving, Past Marissa/ Ryan, Seth and Marissa become really good friends, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29035458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowstormdaydreams/pseuds/snowstormdaydreams
Summary: Seth and Marissa are better friends than anyone would expect.
Relationships: Ryan Atwood & Seth Cohen & Marissa Cooper & Summer Roberts, Seth Cohen & Marissa Cooper, Seth Cohen/Summer Roberts
Kudos: 7





	1. Marissa and Seth

“Come in.” Seth finished the shading he was doing before he looked up. “Marissa? Ryan’s not in here,” he looked around the room pointedly.

“No, I know. I came to talk to you.”

“If Summer’s mad at me I don’t know why, but I’ll be perfectly willing to apologize if you tell me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Is it that unusual that I come see you without bringing word from Summer or looking for Ryan?”

Holding up his hand, he made the iffy gesture before finally setting his sketchbook aside and swinging his legs to sit on the edge of the bed and face her. He waited until she pulled the desk chair out and took a seat before he spoke again. “What’s up?”

“Summer says you’re a good listener when you want to be. And I need that right now. So, can you please want to be right now?”

She seemed nervous and unsettled. Marissa so rarely came to Seth for anything, so he knew it had to be important. “With or without smartass comments? And followed by advice, or no?”

Tilting her head back she looked at the ceiling. “No smartass comments, and yes, advice after, if you have any.”

He nodded in understanding. “Please proceed.”

Keeping her eyes on the ceiling, Marissa started haltingly. “Ryan won’t… He won’t talk about what happened. Everytime I try to bring it up, he brushes it aside and just tells me we’re fine. And I know he understands why I shot Trey, but I think he’s also angry.”

Seth just stayed quiet so she chanced a peek at him before continuing. “When I wake up with nightmares, he just tells me to go back to sleep. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I’ve talked to Summer about it a little, but it just still feels like I’m keeping so much to myself.”

There was a solid few minutes of silence, as if he was making sure she was really done before Seth finally spoke. “I think we should call your old therapist. Maybe you need someone from outside our little bubble to completely unload on, because frankly, all of this is above my paygrade.”

She crossed her arms. “I don’t want to go back there.”

“I’ll go with you and I’ll even buy you coffee and a bagel before hand. But I think you need help, and as much as I want to help, I’m not the right guy for the job.”

Marissa huffed out a breath in annoyance. “Fine. But you have to promise you won’t tell Ryan.”

“Done. I’m better at keeping secrets now anyways.”

“And if I need you to come in with me, you have to.”

His expression was more sincere than she’d ever seen it. “Deal. I won’t even tell Summer if you don’t want me to. So, pull out that little cell phone of yours and get to dialing. I know you’re almost as much of an expert as Summer.”

She huffed out a laugh despite herself, finding the contact she was looking for. Seth was gracious enough to focus back on his sketch pad while she made the call, only looking up again when she’d hung up. 

“He had a cancellation so he can see me in an hour.”

“Ok, well, Ryan is overloaded with makeup work from his tutor so he’s at the library and Summer is still furiously planning the dance. Where does she think you are now?”

“Just out. I didn’t go back to her place after school.”

“How did you get here?”

“Casey dropped me off.”

His eyes narrowed. “And how did you get in?”

She smiled sheepishly. “Uh, the door was unlocked and no one answered, so I just sort of let myself in. You guys might want to consider locking the door when there’s no one around.”

“Ok, that’s fair,” he shrugged. “Alright, well, let’s go. I did promise you a bagel and some coffee.”

Marissa stood up for the fifth time since they’d gotten to the office, heading towards the door. Seth didn’t even look up from the magazine he was flipping through. “I’m your ride home,” he reminded her patiently. “Plus, we already paid.”

She scowled. “You didn’t have to pay for the appointment.”

“Sure I did. If we’d used your insurance you would have been freaking out that someone would find out.”

Sighing, she settled back in her seat. “I didn’t know you paid that much attention to how I react to things.”

“You’re my girlfriend’s best friend and my best friend’s girlfriend. Plus, I’ve seen you in enough stressful situations to notice how you handle them. You get all twitchy.”

“You mean as twitchy as you are 99% of the time?”

He glanced sidelong at her, seemingly unimpressed with her vicious tone. “Exactly.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” She scrubbed a hand over her face. “I’m just nervous.”

Seth shrugged. “That’s why I got you decaf.”

Opening her mouth in indignation, she couldn’t help but giggle. She and Seth had never really hung out together, just the two of them. In a weird way, she could kind of see why Summer loved him. No other guy they’d known was quite like him. He was different from the water polo players they’d hung out with during middle school and freshmen year, and he wasn’t anything like Ryan.

Finally the door to the office opened and the doctor walked out, smiling warmly. “Marissa, come on in.” 

She stood, getting halfway to the office before she stopped short, looking back over her shoulder. “Can you come in with me?”

Seth set the magazine back on the table, sighing exaggeratedly. “I might as well, I already read all the good articles anyways.” 

With that, he followed after her into the inner office, settling on the end of the couch farthest from the door. He looked so much calmer than his usual self, it actually made her feel a bit better and she sat down, bracing herself for the appointment.

When Marissa opened the door of the trailer, she wasn’t surprised to see Seth standing there. “What do you want?”

“Mind if I come in?”

“Yes.” 

He ignored her, slipping inside. Shutting the door with a little more force than was necessary, she crossed her arms over her chest. They stood quietly for several moments before he finally looked back at her. “So, Volchok. It’s the abs, right?”

“So, you came to lecture me? Summer already did that.”

“No, I came because you missed your two last appointments leaving me to sit there and awkwardly talk about how much I hate my birthday one week and gushing over Summer the other. You promised you’d come last night.”

She shrugged flippantly. “I don’t need therapy, I’m cured.”

His eyes strayed to the empty bottle of vodka on the counter. “Clearly.”

She felt even more defensive than she had talking to Summer. For the past few months, several times a month, Seth had brought her to therapy appointments. When she asked him to come in, he did, and every other time he stayed in the waiting room flipping through old magazines. He bought her a snack before or after each appointment, and he hadn’t muttered so much as a word to anyone.

Her mom was the only one who even vaguely knew since Marissa had needed to actually use the insurance so Seth wouldn’t have to continue to pay for the appointments. She knew in her gut that he would have though. 

“I don’t have to explain myself to you!”

“No, but you have to talk to someone, and since I assume Volchok isn’t the talkative type…”

“How do you know I don’t talk to him about stuff?”

Raising his eyebrows, he matched her stance. “Alright, do you?”

Immediately averting her eyes she refused to answer the question. Seth had been so understanding and helpful over the last few months. But he had Summer, and Ryan had Sadie and it was easier to be angry and alone than actually deal with things properly. He and Summer couldn’t tell her what to do.

“You need to leave.”

“Fine. But there’s one last appointment scheduled for two weeks from now. I won’t be there, but you should be. Summer is really worried about you.”

“I wish I’d never asked you for help in the first place, we’re not even friends,” she blurted the words out angrily, glaring in his direction. She was surprised when he didn’t react other than to shrug.

“You’re going to have to do better than that if you’re looking to hurt my feelings.”

With that he left, leaving her staring after him. She collapsed on the couch after she’d heard him drive away, putting her face in her hands. When she finally picked up her phone, she dialed Volchok with shaky fingers, staring straight ahead as she waited for him to pick up.

Marissa sat quietly as Seth drove. With Ryan gone and Seth taking care of Summer, she’d expected she’d have to hitch a ride home with one of their classmates. The last thing she’d expected was Seth to find her on the boardwalk. Summer was sitting in the front seat with her face pressed against the cool glass of the window, grumbling everytime the car hit a bump.

Once they’d pulled up to the house he gathered Summer up while Marissa ran up to unlock the door. They kept quiet as he half carried her up the stairs and between the two of them they managed to get her into bed. It took some cajoling for Seth to pry her off of him, but once she had he pulled the covers up to her chin and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

After they were sure she was settled they walked down to the kitchen together and he put a pot of coffee on for her. She sat at the counter while she waited. “Aren’t you going to say I told you so?”

“Eh, where’s the fun in that?”

Perfectly content to drop it, Marissa immediately changed the subject. “So, how did you and Summer make up so quick? You told her you didn’t love her.”

“Yeah, so, short version: I didn’t get into Brown, I was afraid she wouldn’t go even though it’s her dream, so I broke up with her, but she’s the love of my life so it was basically the worst plan ever.”

“That’s saying something considering all your terrible plans,” she took the mug he handed her, “but I’m happy you guys worked things out.”

“So, how you feeling?”

“You mean after the guy I’ve been sleeping with cheated on me at prom?” She smiled sarcastically. “I’m great.”

“I still won’t say I told you so, but I will say we all saw this coming.”

“Even I saw this coming,” she stared into her mug, “I already apologized to Summer, but… I’m really sorry for blowing you off.”

“What’s a few missed therapy appointments between friends?” He rinsed the coffee pot and put it back “I’ve gotta be getting back. I’m really sorry about Volchok,” he paused in the doorway, “but I’m glad you’re back.”


	2. Seth Without Marissa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth realizes he can't outrun grief.

It had been over six months since Marissa had died. Seth didn’t let himself think about it too much, shoving down his own feelings and focusing his worry on Ryan and Summer. At the moment, neither of them were even speaking to him. Summer had asked for some time to deal with things on her own, and even now that Volchok was in prison, Ryan hadn’t forgiven him.

While a part of him knew he’d done the right thing in Mexico, the fact that it had put a solid wedge between he and his best friend made him question it. Just a few days after Thanksgiving, he figured it was time he faced himself the same way he’d faced Ryan and Summer.

On the way to the cemetery he listened to the CD Marissa had made him at one point that had been tucked into the back of his desk drawer. Once he arrived it took him a solid ten minutes to convince himself to actually get out. He hadn’t been back since the funeral, and to be honest, hadn’t planned to come back at all. 

Over the last several months he’d encouraged Ryan and Summer to face their feelings but had ignored his own advice the whole time. He wasn’t sure they even knew how close he and Marissa had gotten. They had no idea that in the end, he’d known secrets about Marissa that they hadn’t. 

They probably didn’t know about the months of therapy appointments, or the middle of the night phone calls, or the mornings they’d eaten bagels and watched the sun rise when Marissa couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t sure anyone really knew. Marissa had never wanted to talk about it, and Seth had respected her wishes. 

Trekking up the hill, he paused a few feet from Marissa’s grave before finally forcing himself forward. He set the daisy he’d brought on her headstone before backing up again, staring at it. 

He didn’t know what he should say, whether he should say goodbye or hello or ask how she was doing. For months he’d avoided this moment, the moment he’d actually have to think about what had happened, so he just started talking, hoping maybe he still wouldn’t have to. “Volchok is in prison. Summer is vegan now. I work at a comic book store. Ryan got beat up in cage fights. I think I may have saved Ryan’s life. Your mom almost got us killed,” he paused, “honestly, that’s probably the thing you’d find least surprising.”

For a long time he just stood there wringing his hands. “We really miss you,” his voice was a lot quieter, “therapy really isn’t the same without you. I liked it much better when you were the one who had to talk about your problems and I was just there. Jumping through hoops so I don’t have to talk about mine is harder.” He sighed heavily. “I guess I know why you wanted someone to go with you… it’s scary going by yourself. Not that I ever asked anyone to come with me.”

Since she’d died, Seth had been trying to make sure his grief took up the least amount of space. It had felt like he had to take care of Summer and Ryan and make sure his parents didn’t go completely crazy with worry. There hadn’t been much room left over for him, and it felt almost selfish to try and take any of it. 

He scoffed. “Sunrise and bagels isn’t even that fun without you there to annoy. And you’d think without you around to wake me up five times a week I’d be able to get a solid nights sleep. I can't though." He squinted at the headstone. "I’m glad you felt like you could call me though. I know how it feels not to have someone to call, and, well to be honest, it fucking sucks.”

Seth stayed there for hours, cycling through sitting quietly and desperately trying to fill the silence. At some point it started to drizzle, but he still didn’t move. Now that he’d finally worked up the courage to come, he didn’t want to leave, afraid he’d never manage it again.

He was just about to finally say goodbye when he heard a voice behind him. “Seth?”

In the dim lighting he could just barely see Julie’s face when he looked over his shoulder. “Julie? I… didn’t know you came here this late.”

“I didn’t know you came here at all.”

Standing, he brushed himself off as she came up next to him. “I, don’t, not really. Just here on official business.”

She nodded, her lips turned up the tiniest bit at his lame attempt at a joke. “I know you guys spent a lot of time together in the months before she died. It’s sweet that you convinced her to go to therapy, and that you always brought her.”

“What? No, where did you… Psh,” he waved her off, unsure why he felt the need to continue to keep the secret.

“Seth, Marissa told me. It was one of the reasons she felt ready to go travel with her father. She knew at the very least if she ever needed help, she could call you and you’d help her ask someone better qualified.”

Smiling wryly, he glanced over at the headstone. “That sounds like her.”

“You were a good friend to her and she was lucky to have you.”

He stared at a point over her shoulder. “I think Summer would have been able to help her more than I ever could.”

“Oh, honey, those two were best friends, but God knows Summer never would have convinced her to go to therapy. Her friendship with you was just different than her friendship with Ryan, or her friendship with Summer.”

“Maybe. I’m glad she felt like she could talk to me.”

“After…” Julie took a deep shaky breath. “I found her journal after she died, she must have left it on accident when she packed. She wrote about how you always picked up your phone in the middle of the night no matter how many times she called. The fact that she could come to you meant a lot to her.”

Raising his eyebrows he blinked at her in surprise. “You read her journal?”

She shrugged. “Not my finest moment, but I haven’t had many of those in years. She wrote about bagels and sunrises too.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “Uh, those were mostly me heckling her for wearing makeup and pajamas at five in the morning and judging the way she schmeared her bagels.”

Julie’s smile was genuine this time. “All that matters is that she felt better after them. There was actually a note for you there, I’ve had it on me, but after what happened in Mexico…” She cleared her throat reaching into the side pocket of her purse. “I really am sorry that I put you and Ryan in danger. There’s really no excuse for what I did.”

“Not the strangest thing that’s ever happened in our family,” he cleared his throat, “I’m just glad I stopped Ryan.”

“I am too,” she pulled a piece of paper out. “Aha! This is it.”

Seth unfolded it carefully, smiling when he saw that it had a bagel on it and tilting it towards the light as best he could. In the middle were just a few lines of neat script: 

_Seth,_

_See you in a year or so. As a wise man once said, what’s a few missed therapy appointments between friends?_

_(Thank you.)_

“I don’t know if she meant to give it to you and forgot, or if she changed her mind. But I thought you should have it.”

He took a deep breath blinking several times to clear the mistiness from his eyes. “Thanks for giving it to me,” he tucked it in his pocket. “I should go and give you some privacy.”

“Would you,” Julie visibly winced, “would you mind just staying?”

It took a moment for Seth to process the request and formulate an answer. “Oh, um, of course. I can stay as long as you want.”


End file.
